boo.

How do you tell the person you love the most that you're not always the person he thought you were? How can I say, "I'm miserable" without worrying him or making him think he did something wrong? The funny thing is, it has NOTHING to do with him. No. It has everything to do with exhaustion, homesickness, and loneliness. But I guess the latter two go hand in hand.

I can honestly say I never thought I would be homesick. Then again, I never anticipated to sit home by myself on a Friday night. Granted, watching Bridesmaids is an overall enjoyable experience, but it isn't ideal especially when all of my friends are out and having a good time. It's not the best feeling when all of the friends you've made already have their group of friends or boyfriends that they can call up when there's nothing to do. I have never missed my boyfriend or my best friend as much as I do in this very moment. Kayle, if you ever read this I will never watch Bridesmaids without thinking of you. Boo. I'm trying not to cry with that one. Erik, if you read this I'm not as sad as I seem. I'm just feeling down on myself because I feel like I have no friends. But, I promise as soon as I wake up in the morning I will turn this frown upside down and be just as positive as I always seem to be.

Welcome to my pity party. I never complain about this kind of stuff. At least not normally. I just needed to vent to someone and who better to listen to my rants than this under the radar blog? Fortunately, I'm already feeling better. It's funny how just getting the words out on paper (though it's not exactly paper) can make me feel better. Thank you, writing. You have been and always will be there for me.

Okay. Now that I've had my negative moment, I can switch it back to positive. Which is how I usually am and how I always should be.

I better get to sleep. The lack of Z's is contributing to my overwhelming amount of emotions. Boo. Sleep is a whore. Always with someone else. Cheating on me are you? I see how it is. Come back to my bed now. I miss you. Thanks.





Again, I apologize for any disoriented and fragmented thoughts. It's late. I'm tired. I'm emotional. It happens. Deal with it. Have a good night!